i have the strongest urge, at 2 oclock in the morning, to get my other nipple pierced. that, however, ain’t ne’ ha’nin’ bc i have the pain tolerance of a five year old. actually… there are a lot of things about be that are similar to a 5 yr old.

- i have trouble forming words into sentences normal humans can actually understand and respond to

- i can’t sit still

- NAPTIME & SNACKTIME = HELLA KOSHER, HELLA NECESSARY

- i have trouble making food and drink reach my mouf

- i play too damn much and EVERYTHING makes me giggle.

- i hate wearing pants aaaaaaaaaaaaa lot.

- dora da explora is fyefye and ion care who knows

- i love bedtime stories.

i think the only thing that is keeping me from being regressive/retarded is the fact that i pay (most of) my bills on my own. which is lame as fuck anyway so. i definitely gotta head to work in bout 4 hours. peace Gods 

( -o-)( o  ) <- (those was supposed to b an artistic representation of my boobs but i see now thats a fail. dont b me b better than me)

sometimes i’ll get asked why i keep dreams and aspirations to myself. i do believe people block blessings and steal ideas. luckily for me, my blogs typically go unread, so i can spill out everything here. on de tumblrz. i do these blogs typically to keep track of my progress, and my short term aspirations.

anyway doe, i have a few poems nominated to be published in a literary journal, which is p cool. i’m also working on a demo to shop out, and no i have no idea when i’ll be done with the whole project. what i think i want to do is have a 12 - 16 song demo, and separate that into mini genre-specific demos (fast techno-inspired/dub inspired pop, mid-tempo pop ballads, slow r&b ballads, and indie/unique/undefined/acoustic/”my kinda music” genre). bc i have a few contacts that want to hear my demo already, i really want everything to sound perfect… and hopefully better than anything on the radio. (duh). so i have scratches for 4/5 songs and hopefully by spring break i can have a three more scratches done. hopefully by the end of ‘12, i’ll have way more than just 16 recorded songs to demo out.

since i’ll be singing on all of them, i probably won’t share any songs with y’all pplz of tumblrz until i get a demo singer, but i’m not stressing about that right now. my voice gets the job done for the time being. but if i get anyone to demo anything for me, you guys will be the first to hear :) 

peace Gods and stay royal. 

sometimes i reach in my back pocket for you whenever needed, because i know you’re waiting for me to care about you. i wish you knew that my heart is a splintered little knot. selfish and searching. loving the freedom of lonely. bleeding something suffocatingly blue. but i do not mind lying to you. i will tell you i love you, if you want. i’ll tell you i’m not looking through you when we fuck, if you want. i’ll tell you i dream about you when the moon reigns the sky and wish for you when i’m enjoying my lone, if you want me to. i don’t know what kind of person that makes me, but at this point of my life, i do not give a fuck.

so a young queen is sick at home, crampin :c. i had shit to do today to aka shop until i don’t have enough $ to go back to school, but i drank a nice tall glass of fresh squeezed celery+apple juice (for potassium) & listened to some blindbenny to keep my spirits up.

still getting my lil grindage on today tho. my creative juices are running hella thick:

• wrote two songs, recorded a song, worked on a coupla hooks - juknow, regular shit.

• sketched out a few possible logos for a company and, hopefully, i can transfer them into Illustrator by tonight and digitize them bad mamajamas.

• read my “Computer Arts” magazine [AMAZING magazine if you are into or want to get into graphic art/graphic design/photo editing/web and layout design. MUST READ MAGAZINE]

• sketched some jewelry designs so i can FINALLY get some gas behind Pride & Co (nah i ain’t forgot, i just have a very different game plan.)

• completed a couple website coding exercises :) i have some web development projects coming up w/ my mentor i’m preparing for. VERY excited about them :) [i’m gonna be talking like an HTML geek for now on aka i am a nerd bka i clearly don’t want any friends]

and i ain’t tired yet. :)

i challenge all my artists out there to overexert your talents this year. work on your art! work on your art! take a break and work on your art summore! ain’t a damn thing better you can be doing than working on YOUR art! listen to criticism. ignore criticism. share with other artists. keep it to yourself. remember, our goal is ascension, my yute. ascension and betterment. work on your beautiful art.

a grinding young queen loves y’all. light, peace, and progress.

there is a difference between punishing (I.E. not trusting, making it hard for him to get close, pre-judging) your current fling because of something an ex has done annnnd being hesitant because of past experiences that went horribly. do not ever try me like a bitter bitch, cause i’ve never been that and never been. i am a queen of light and love. nvr confuse me with these girls with dark hearts and no spiritual guidance. ever.

but i can and will be hesitant to those who attempt to “talk” (eyeroll, another rant for another day, but i’m too damn old for that corny ass word) to me bc of my experienced based knowledge, baby; not for YOU, get that right, but for me. my hesitance is bc EYE move too fast and i have no concept of finesse. i do not care enough about anybody to punish them bc of what several fucked up guys of my past have done to me. look at me. I DO NOT GIVE NO FUCKS. you new niggas will not treat me like those niggas, i am not worried about that at all. i do this for me. i move slow for me. i’m hesitant for me. i’m not punishing you; i do not give a fuck about you.

i give a fuck about me and my feelings, baby. light, love.

oh, and merry xmas eve. if you have a problem with me saying “X”mas, plz go look up a Labarum or the Chi-Rho symbol and suck my jolly dick. you can be a Xian that actually reads and God will not love you any less.

(dont take me too seriously when reading this. i mean all that i say but, i was laughing while writin this entire shit.)

but s/o to my niggas who use “i’m young tho” as an excuse for dippin they dick in anything wet tho. lol. my nigga, what does your age have to do with being gross and (more importantly) my own well-being? nathing. idgaf about your age. i do not care about you or how you feel at all. i fuck w/ you solely for selfish reasons.

if i’ve stopped being friends with hoed out females, OF COURSE i ain’t tryna associate myself with hoed out males; think my nigga.

so miss me me w/ the sad ass “i’m young. i’m the victim” line, cuz you sound like you sit down when you pee. miss me with them wack ass “school/life just take up so much of my time” lines bc you and i both know how boring you are. we don’t believe you. you need more people.

its easy to say: “hey… there is a lotta loose pussy being thrown in my face and i don’t care enough about you to control myself.” but you new niggas too pussy for allat tho which is cool. however the lst you could do is ask me permission to be a hoe on yo team so i can tell you na; cuz even tho YOU’RE young, i’m grown enough to make my own decisions. don’t make them for me.

anyway doe, where y’all be be taking these amazing ass acting classes at? i need to enroll and get these oscars up. y’all be havin the illest denzel scripts when you want ass. ILLEST.